Down for my N*****

Friendships are tricky. As I grow in my adulthood and walk with God, I have difficulties finding pockets of “me time”. When I start getting comfortable after a long and busy day, friends disrupt my groove by wanting to come over or have a phone conversation.

I love my girls but the bible’s passages about friendships were a source of anxiety for me. The bible tells us not to grow tired of doing good and demands us to lay our lives down for our friends. Admittedly, I became overwhelmed. I felt that in order to be considered a good friend, I had to sacrifice any/everything I wanted to make other people happy. My introverted side hated that I was expected to answer every call, be at every event and comply with every rule in the “Girl Code” handbook.

The stress of it all made me sick and unhappy. I began to push my friends aside instead of being honest about my feelings and limitations. Looking back, I’m truly sorry for all the friends I’ve hurt or lost by running away, but I’m thankful for the new lessons I can take with me moving forward. I’m centering my friendships around open communication. Rather than retreating into isolation, I’ve begun to release some of the pressure I felt by simply speaking up.

Through God’s grace, I’ve learned to not be so hard on myself. I’m not always going to get it right or make the best decisions. The important thing is to make sure my intentions are pure and that I’m trying my very best each day to live according to His will.

God promises to hold you down. Don’t get discouraged, no matter how many times you fall short along the way.


Raven Carey-James