Be Against the World
When you align yourself with things of this world, you will set yourself up for disappointment every single time. My parents wake up at 3AM and 5AM every morning to go to jobs they hate and while I’m thankful for their sacrifices to make sure my siblings and I never went without, it scared the hell out of me to think the only purpose in this life was to work in order to just get by. I did everything according to the book to make sure my story was different. I graduated from college on time, secured the first job I could after college and tried to curate my own path as a marketing professional because I was good at it and it paid well.
I never stopped. Not to breathe, not to rest and never to quit. I viewed patience as a character trait for the weak and believed the only way to truly get what you wanted in this world was through hard work and focus. Along the way, I hustled so hard, I lost sight of all that was important to me. I let go of good friends and rationalized it to justify my selfishness and thirst for status and wealth. Whomever didn’t help me achieve my bottom line, got the axe and in return I had a fat savings account and a life of isolation.
I misjudged my blessings and took advantage of all things good because I was scared of failing according to the world’s standards. I took too much credit for my accomplishments and as a result, I fell so far from God’s plan for my spirituality by trying to be the God of my own life. He had to humble me and in June, I lost my job and the self-worth I attached to it. It was only then that God began to reveal Himself to me and work through my life. He taught me to forgive myself for all the hearts I’ve broken and to let go of those who broke mine. I’ve worked to mend broken relationships, establish new standards and regain my footing in faith.
This process has been hard as hell. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t still afraid of what was to come, but I have to learn to trust God because trying to do it on my own hasn’t gotten me very far. I’m excited for the person I am becoming, I’m excited to have the platform to share what God wants me to say and I’m excited for all the blessings God has coming my way, I just hope I’m finally getting to a place where I’m ready to receive them.