Catching a Unicorn 101

A “unicorn” by BYOB definition is “your equal” they say there is one person for everyone and while statistically that may be impossible, I’m of the faith that there’s somebody out there who will check most of your boxes, sweep you off your feet and be everything you never thought you needed. 

Catching a Unicorn is simple concept but takes a lot of difficult work on the front end, so here are a few helpful tips to get you started. 

  1. Get your mind right.

Maybe you haven’t been blessed with your unicorn yet because you aren’t ready to receive one. It would be really unfortunate to meet the guy/gal of your dreams and piss it away because you couldn’t get your house in order. Make sure that your mind, body and soul are in a place to not only receive a partner, but consistently nurture that relationship as well. 

2. Make a list of non-negotiables, then work on being that person FIRST

As an addendum to my first point, I suggest writing down all of the things you’re looking for in a partner then rating them from most important to least important. Once you have this list, do some reflecting and see if you’re indeed the type of person you’re looking for. If you wouldn’t date you, you can’t expect someone else to. This year, I'm working on manifesting self-love. In a perfect world, the man I marry will be patient, affectionate, confident and ambitious so my first task is working to become those things. As I mentioned before, the point of this dating thing is to find your equal, so assess if your equal right now is someone you would even want, and if not, it's time to work on what you're bringing to the table.

3. Change your environment

If you haven’t met your unicorn yet, it might be because you’ve been chillin in the same spaces with the same people. Unicorns are rare, trying new things will increase your chances of catching one. Go to places you are interested in, regardless of whether or not your crew goes with you. I go places by myself all the time (a new development), and it may seem lame; but I believe in stepping out of comfort zones and gaining exposure to all types of people. You never know if your next best thing will be at a new bar or at an intimate art show, so get out there and find like-minded individuals, not just people who are like-minded with the person you pretend to be in the VIP section at the club. 

4. Mad cliché, but dead ass, you may just have to wait,

Patience is a virtue, Beloved. There could be a multitude of reasons why you haven’t met your unicorn yet. If you truly believe you’ve done all the soul searching there is to do, be empathetic to your future partner’s journey. You may not know them yet, but God is probably molding them for you as we speak. As He continues to mold you, focus on your growth and the rest will follow. For the people who are already in relationships and questioning things, it’s possible that you’re already in a relationship with a unicorn and can't see it due to personal issues clouding your judgment. Waiting and actively working on being the best person you can be, will remove those clouds and reveal the people worth keeping around.


Raven Carey-James